September 22, 2026
Tuesday, September 22
God’s Word reminds us to watch out for a “root of bitterness,” the leftovers of a painful situation that we think we’ve moved on from…but that bitter root is still there, sprouting its toxic shoots into every area of our life and relationships. What can we do when we can’t find the strength to forgive?
First, we need to remember: Forgiveness is granted before it’s felt. If we think that forgiveness means “I’m over it,” we will find it impossible to forgive truly painful wrongs. But we have our thinking backwards. True forgiveness starts while you’re still angry, still sorrowful. How is that possible?
When someone hurts us, our natural desire is for satisfaction. We want to see them punished. We want the vindication of having everyone take our side and condemn the wrongdoer. But forgiveness is a deliberate choice not to pursue satisfaction. Instead of punishing the person who hurt you, it’s choosing to forgo vengeance. Instead of treating them with coldness, it’s showing them kindness. Instead of hating them in our hearts, it’s praying for good things for them. At the start of this series, I wrote that the heart of forgiveness is saying, “Your sin has cost me something. But I will not make you pay. I will absorb that cost.” Sometimes that cost is not high. Someone insults you, offends you, or makes your day mildly more inconvenient than you would like. Emotional maturity is learning to absorb those small hurts graciously. It’s an essential skill in this world, and most of us master it at some point.
But other times, the cost of forgiveness is extremely high. In those moments, we reach an inflection point. We can hang on to our anger and hurt, and suffer from toxic bitterness for years to come. Or we can obey the Lord, and our obedience sets us free.
For 18 years, Larry Nassar was the team doctor of US Women’s Gymnastics. In 2017, he was convicted and sentenced to 60 years in prison for using his position to sexually assault hundreds of teenagers and little girls. The first woman to publicly accuse Nassar was Rachel Denhollander, who Nassar began assaulting when she was 15. At the trial, many of Nassar’s victims gave statements. But none were as memorable was the one given by Denhollander. In excruciating detail, she described what this man had done to her, and how it had impacted every aspect of her life. She spoke of other young women, and the damage they had suffered as well. She urged the judge to consider as he prepared a verdict, “How much is a little girl worth?” But she also said:
“The Bible carries a final judgment where all of God’s wrath and eternal terror is poured out on men like you. Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you have done, the guilt will be crushing. And that is what makes the gospel of Christ so sweet. Because it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found. And it will be there for you. I pray you experience the soul crushing weight of guilt so you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me – though I extend that to you as well.”
Rachel Denhollander granted forgiveness before she felt it. That didn’t excuse the monstrous things Larry Nassar did. She helped bring justice. But it glorified God—her statement was broadcast on every major news platform, and reprinted thousands of times across the internet. And it brought peace to her life. Are you willing to forgive, even if you don’t feel like it?
“Lord, it’s not easy to forgive people who’ve hurt me. But you know that better than I do. People did horrible things to you. Grant me the strength to absorb the cost and will the good toward whoever has wounded me. That is how I will truly heal. In your name, amen.”
Senior Pastor
First Baptist Conroe
More from Pastor Jeff at his website: jeffbergerwriting.com
