September 23, 2026
Wednesday, September 23
One of the last books Tim Keller wrote before he died in 2023 was a masterpiece simply called Forgive. I highly recommend it, especially if you want to explore the ideas in this series further. One of the points he makes is that forgiveness is a decision, but also a journey. As I shared yesterday, we must choose to forgive before we feel like it. If not, the “root of bitterness” (Hebrews 12:15) in our hearts will keep growing until it consumes us. In saying that, I didn’t mean to make that decision sound easy. In fact, the choice to forgive is just the beginning.
In his book, Keller tells the story of Dan Campbell, a man whose fiancée broke off their engagement. Campbell later wrote, “Forgiveness can be like buying an expensive gift on credit.” We make a decision to forgive a person in a moment, but we make payments on that forgiveness for years to come. After Campbell’s heart was broken, he chose to forgive his ex, but that one-time decision required many payments to come. Whenever he saw her and chose not to bring up what she had done, that was a payment. When he randomly encountered her in public with her new boyfriend, and then later repented before God for his feelings of envy and self-pity, that was a payment. When he prayed for her as she moved on, when he said kind things about her to others, even though he wanted to tear her down, those were payments too. No one saw these payments. Only he knew how much this was costing him.
Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s a decision. But that doesn’t mean our feelings don’t matter. God wants us to heal inside. The good news is that making the decision to forgive someone is a huge part of the journey to healing. But in the meantime, I will share something with you that I heard another pastor say. He said when we are deeply hurt and angry, sometimes all we’re capable of is saying to God, “I know I should forgive them. I want to obey you. Help me.” The pastor said, “God knows our hearts. And sometimes, just the desire in you to forgive them is pleasing to God.” So if you are nursing that root of bitterness, is there a desire in you to get rid of it?
“Lord, when I struggle to forgive, create in me a desire to want to forgive. I know it’s up to me to obey you. But I pray that you would strengthen me through your Holy Spirit, convict me of my sinful lack of forgiveness, remind me of your mercy toward me…whatever it takes to move me to obedience. In your holy name, amen.”
Senior Pastor
First Baptist Conroe
More from Pastor Jeff at his website: jeffbergerwriting.com
