September 28, 2026
Monday, September 28
We’ve been talking for weeks about forgiveness. I hope you’ve seen that forgiveness is a nonnegotiable part of the Christian faith. If you’re not a forgiving person, you probably aren’t a child of God yet. On the other hand, if you grow in grace, you can learn to identify with people who sin against you, absorb the cost of what they did, and refuse to seek vengeance or even wish harm upon them. That’s forgiveness. Not only does it glorify God, it brings peace to our lives as well. We feel like we’re setting a prisoner free, only to find out that prisoner is us.
But in Christ, we should go further. Our goal should be reconciliation; whole healthy relationships. Our goal should be Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Wouldn’t it be great if every Christian could say, “My relationships are a source of peace in my life, not anxiety; joy, not sorrow; glory to God, not embarrassment to His name.”
But that takes work. Forgiveness is unilateral. You can forgive someone even if they never apologize or show any signs of remorse. But reconciliation takes two. How can we accomplish that? This week, we’ll look at how to reconcile with someone who has hurt you. Next week, we’ll talk about reconciling with someone you have hurt. The Scripture for this week will be familiar to many of you, although you’ve probably heard it used in a very different context. In Matthew 18:15-17 Jesus said,
15“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Most preachers treat this passage as if Jesus was giving us a manual for church discipline. I’m not so sure that’s what Jesus intended. Let me be clear: I do believe that church discipline is a necessary and biblical idea. Paul talks about it in 1 Corinthians 6, addressing a situation in which a man is engaged in public, unrepentant sexual immorality. Paul’s focus is two-fold: First, we should care enough about our fellow believers that we will confront them if they are turning away from God’s path, pursuing public, unrepentant sin. Sometimes love means wounding someone in order to bring them to repentance. Second, we must guard the church’s reputation in the community. Church discipline is a way of demonstrating to outsiders that God’s grace brings real change, not a license to live any way we want.
Having said that, I believe this passage is about something different. Jesus doesn’t say, “If you know someone in your church is sinning, do this.” He says, “If someone sins against you.” I believe this passage is about reconciliation with someone who has hurt or offended you. Jesus isn’t telling us “three steps to take before kicking someone out of your church.” He’s telling us how to be reconciled to our brother. As this week proceeds, I hope you’ll see that reconciliation isn’t just an ideal. It really is possible in Christ.
“Father, you care about how your children treat each other. I praise you for it. And I pray that you would bring to mind any relationships in my own life which aren’t where they should be. This week and next, please instruct me on how to make things right. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Senior Pastor
First Baptist Conroe
More from Pastor Jeff at his website: jeffbergerwriting.com
